Leter babait Franz Kafka
Excerpt from the novel “Father’s letter”
I never understood the complete lack of sensitivity to the pain and shame that gripped me from your words and judgments, as if you were unaware of the power you possessed. Of course, I also uttered a word to you, I know this well, but I could not restrain myself and measure the words, and I regretted it as soon as I took it out of my mouth. While you, with your insults, kill and wait, all over again, without sparing anyone; before you man felt himself completely defenseless. This is how your education system was built. I say that in this field you are really talented; obviously with a guy similar to yours he could have walked you, educating you in your own way; he would have understood the logic of the words, he would not have killed his mind about other things, and he would have quietly done what he had to do. To me, a piece of carpet, all you ordered was, undoubtedly, a heavenly message; I have never forgotten this, and it became the unit of measurement with which I judged the world, especially you, and it was here that you erred.
Since in my childhood we used to bake mostly at the table, usually your lessons had to do with my eating behavior. I had to eat what was in front of me, it was forbidden to express judgments about the quality of the dishes – and you, often slandered, called it “dirt”; “That animal” (the cook) had tarred him. You, with that wolf appetite you had, all the desire to swallow big bites that would not let the food even cool down, ate greedily and wanted the child to hurry.
Dad, I hope you understand me correctly, these were trivial trifles; to me they became chirping only when you, the man who was god in my eyes, did not obey the orders you had dictated to me. Consequently, the world for me was divided into three parts: in the first I, the slave, lived under the pressure of laws designed only for me, to which I did not know the meaning and could not conform; then there was a second world, infinitely distant from mine, in which you lived, where you led, set orders, and got angry when they were not obeyed; and, finally, a third world, where mankind lived happily, without taking orders and without obeying anyone.